Natural Lessons
This past week has been a tough one for me. My mind was going over several situations that had occurred, misunderstandings between friends, issues at work, personal issues, things I could not clear from my mind. My mind kept going over these issues, beating itself up looking for solutions, things that could have been done differently, handles better, solutions and possible solutions for other issues, I was is worriers hell. My mind was so preoccupied on these things I could not get adequate sleep, and meditation became impossible as I could not reach a calm spot.
This is a situation I think we all find ourselves in. We become trapped in a spiral, problems occur, we concern ourselves them, seeking solutions, worrying about some real, and some expected issues. As we obsess over these, we make matters worse. Our bodies become deprived, we lose sight of other things, then these create other issues, we worry about them as well, then more is added to the mix. The black vortex of the mind…
I recognized what was going on, but nothing seemed to work to break me out of the cycle. Meditation, self hypnosis, creative visualization, all were out of reach, my mind and essence were locked in a battle with each other and the demon of doubt and fear. Even the dog noticed something was wrong, and tried to break me out of this with puppy love, but I was too entrenched to get the message.
My first reaction was to withdraw and cut myself off from the world, how could I be a friend or help others when I could not help myself. This too is a situation that many of us in our line of work find ourselves in. Negativity spreads like a virus, spreading from host to host in a chain reaction of despair, and I did not want to be Patient Zero.
Trying to clear my head after yet another bout of bad news, I decided to go for a walk. We had a snow storm just a day before, but it was warm and I had not been to the beach in a while. Neither had the dog.
We began walking, the only two as far as the eye could see, just us in this vast sea of water and sand. Even though the dog was with me, I felt alone and that the scene matched how I felt on the inside, alone in a vast wasteland, overwhelmed by everything around him.
I gazed out at the water; choppy waves were breaking at the shore smashing against the huge field of ice and snow carving away at it and carrying bits and pieces away, just as my own mind was doing to me.
Then I noticed the dog was looking at the scene as well but her eyes were not watching the destruction as the waves hit, but what happened as the waves receded. Yes, there was the breaking of the ice and snow, what appeared to be destruction with the mighty ocean attacking the snow and ice that had invaded its home.
It was then that it hit me; the ocean was doing as it always has, moving in its never ending cycle, waves hitting the shore, yes some times bigger and more fierce, driven by the winds, but continuing its purpose. The ice and snow that appeared at its shore was not being attacked, it too was part of the ocean, water that had been separated and taken a different form, but the ocean doing its own thing, its simple purpose was reclaiming what had been taken from it by the outside forces of sun and wind.
Like the ocean, I should stay focused and keep true to myself and my purpose; my troubles were like the ice and snow, parts of my life and my mind and would eventually be reabsorbed. I should not be concerned at how large they appear or that they appear to be taking over my landscape, my home, my life. Like the ice and snow, wind and rain, thoughts and concerns will manifests, but they should not be all consuming, my staying true to myself I will be able to whittle away them, make them smaller, even carve them into funny shapes along the way. Eventually they would be cleared away, but then new storms would form. It is the cycle of life.
After about an hour of walking the beach and marveling at the beauty of nature I returned home and finally got some rest. Nature is a great teach, if one can just open himself or herself up to what is being taught.
This is a situation I think we all find ourselves in. We become trapped in a spiral, problems occur, we concern ourselves them, seeking solutions, worrying about some real, and some expected issues. As we obsess over these, we make matters worse. Our bodies become deprived, we lose sight of other things, then these create other issues, we worry about them as well, then more is added to the mix. The black vortex of the mind…
I recognized what was going on, but nothing seemed to work to break me out of the cycle. Meditation, self hypnosis, creative visualization, all were out of reach, my mind and essence were locked in a battle with each other and the demon of doubt and fear. Even the dog noticed something was wrong, and tried to break me out of this with puppy love, but I was too entrenched to get the message.
My first reaction was to withdraw and cut myself off from the world, how could I be a friend or help others when I could not help myself. This too is a situation that many of us in our line of work find ourselves in. Negativity spreads like a virus, spreading from host to host in a chain reaction of despair, and I did not want to be Patient Zero.
Trying to clear my head after yet another bout of bad news, I decided to go for a walk. We had a snow storm just a day before, but it was warm and I had not been to the beach in a while. Neither had the dog.
We began walking, the only two as far as the eye could see, just us in this vast sea of water and sand. Even though the dog was with me, I felt alone and that the scene matched how I felt on the inside, alone in a vast wasteland, overwhelmed by everything around him.
I gazed out at the water; choppy waves were breaking at the shore smashing against the huge field of ice and snow carving away at it and carrying bits and pieces away, just as my own mind was doing to me.
Then I noticed the dog was looking at the scene as well but her eyes were not watching the destruction as the waves hit, but what happened as the waves receded. Yes, there was the breaking of the ice and snow, what appeared to be destruction with the mighty ocean attacking the snow and ice that had invaded its home.
It was then that it hit me; the ocean was doing as it always has, moving in its never ending cycle, waves hitting the shore, yes some times bigger and more fierce, driven by the winds, but continuing its purpose. The ice and snow that appeared at its shore was not being attacked, it too was part of the ocean, water that had been separated and taken a different form, but the ocean doing its own thing, its simple purpose was reclaiming what had been taken from it by the outside forces of sun and wind.
Like the ocean, I should stay focused and keep true to myself and my purpose; my troubles were like the ice and snow, parts of my life and my mind and would eventually be reabsorbed. I should not be concerned at how large they appear or that they appear to be taking over my landscape, my home, my life. Like the ice and snow, wind and rain, thoughts and concerns will manifests, but they should not be all consuming, my staying true to myself I will be able to whittle away them, make them smaller, even carve them into funny shapes along the way. Eventually they would be cleared away, but then new storms would form. It is the cycle of life.
After about an hour of walking the beach and marveling at the beauty of nature I returned home and finally got some rest. Nature is a great teach, if one can just open himself or herself up to what is being taught.
posted by Tony Eye at 4:08 PM
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